10 Steps To Mentally and Emotionally Healing Yourself

Often when we talk about the word "healing" we are talking about healing physically such as from an injury, surgery, etc. 

But the word “healing” has several different meanings…especially in the work that I do. 

For example, there’s spiritual healing, inner child healing, emotional healing, mental healing, holistic healing, the list goes on and on… 

But here I want to focus on how you can heal yourself emotionally and mentally. 

I’ll be honest with you - it wasn’t until I was about 23 that I realized that I needed to do some inner work aka some inner healing on both an emotional and mental level. 

I was in a corporate job that demanded crazy hours from me and I started to struggle mentally, emotionally, and physically. One day I had this moment of, “Something needs to change. I can’t keep living my life like this…this is not what life is supposed to be.” 

From there I started working out and eating better. As I started to feel better physically my mindset also started to shift which is where I began my journey into personal development and growth and why I'm so passionate about talking about this with you! 

In this blog I’m covering - 

• What does healing even mean? 
• Signs that emotional and mental healing work is for you 
• 10 steps to take to start your healing journey 

These are the exact same tips I give to my own clients so you’re in exactly the right place! 

What does healing even mean? 

When I’m talking about healing on an emotional and mental level I’m not talking about just doing some self-care or completing some shadow work journal prompts and believing that’s all it takes. 

While both of those things are great (I am a huge advocate of self-care and shadow work journal prompts) these are just small stepping stones on the healing journey and you need to do more to create effective, lasting changes. 

Healing means that you are in the process of addressing and restoring your overall well-being and that you are committed to doing the work and healing is not about just trying to be positive all the time. 

One of the first steps to take is to acknowledge that you need healing and then tune into yourself internally to gain insight into the root causes of what could be causing you certain emotional or mental struggles. 

Healing is also all about giving yourself lots of self-compassion and grace because nothing about healing is easy - it’s a rollercoaster of a journey but one that is absolutely worth it. 

Something I’ve noticed in all of my clients (and myself) is that we’re really hard on ourselves. We beat ourselves up and then it begins this hamster wheel that we can’t get off of…a never-ending cycle. 

I encourage you to find some compassion for yourself and then get curious about why you do certain things or think certain thoughts. Getting curious and starting to observe is what’s going to break the cycle.

So how can you know that you need to do emotional and mental healing work?

Signs that emotional and mental healing work is for you 

As I mentioned above I really didn’t know that I needed to do any healing work - as a Life and Mindset Coach, I naively thought that I was exempt from going on a healing journey. 

But… 

There are some common signs I’ve seen in clients and experienced myself that indicate to me that there is healing work to be done. So let's talk about them. 

One of the first signs is that you are experiencing burnout. 

Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress, typically related to work or caregiving responsibilities. 

Burnout comes in many shapes and sizes but generally, you’re going to know you are facing burnout if you are experiencing any of the following - 

1. Exhaustion: You feel physically and emotionally drained, even after getting enough sleep or rest.

2. Lack of Motivation: You often experience a sense of detachment or cynicism toward tasks or responsibilities, feeling like your efforts make little difference.

3. Increased Irritability: Being easily frustrated, agitated, or short-tempered, even over minor issues.

4. Withdrawal: Withdrawing from social interactions, avoiding colleagues, friends, or family members.

There are just a few examples of burnout - one of the most common symptoms my clients come to me with is loss of self or loss of identity. They don’t know who they are any more or even the things that bring them joy. 

Another sign that you need to do emotional and mental healing work is…

 You simply don’t feel present. 

This looks like when you find yourself have a really hard time being in and enjoying the moment.

You’re always worried about your to-do list or have non-stop thoughts going through your mind.

Another sign is - you don’t feel comfortable or know how to enforce your boundaries. 

This is actually one of the biggest things I work on with my clients. 

We have forgotten that we get to say ‘no’ to people. It’s important to prioritize things that are important to you and your family so that you don’t hit burnout. So often we begin to burn out because you put everyone else before your own needs and you’re operating from an empty cup.

I want you to ask yourself the following -

Where are you saying ‘yes’ to things that you actually want to say ‘no’ to?

Where are you beginning to have resentment in your life?

Where are you sacrificing your own needs to help others?

A final sign to look out for that tells you that you have some healing work to do is if you don’t have control over your emotions. 

This can look like - 

1. You have intense emotional reactions: You are experiencing intense emotional reactions that seem disproportionate to the situation, such as extreme anger, sadness, or anxiety.

2. You experience impulsive behavior: You find yourself acting impulsively based on emotions, without considering the consequences or alternatives. This may include impulsive spending, substance abuse, or risky behavior.

4. You are reactive: You find yourself reacting quickly and impulsively to triggers or stressors without taking the time to pause and consider your response. This can lead to conflicts in relationships or interpersonal difficulties.

5. You find yourself often feeling overwhelmed: You find it difficult to cope with daily stressors, your emotions, or the challenges you face. 

6. You have physical symptoms: You find yourself experiencing physical symptoms such as a racing heart, tense muscles, or gastrointestinal distress in response to emotional triggers.

7. You have difficulty concentrating: You find it hard to focus or concentrate on tasks when overwhelmed by emotions, leading to decreased productivity or performance.

If you’re reading this and you find yourself experiencing any of the signs above then you know that you have some work to do. 

So here’s how you’re going to get started… 

10 steps to take to start your healing journey 

1. Self-Reflection: Start by taking time at least once a week to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Journaling, meditation, or simply quiet contemplation can help you gain insight into your emotional state and identify areas that may need healing. If you want to start with a meditation I encourage you to download my FREE full-body scan meditation. You can download it here. 

2. Seeking Support: Talking to someone who is empathetic and understanding can provide validation, guidance, and a sense of connection. You’ll also have a better understanding on what healing work needs to be done because talking with someone else can help you better understand underlying root causes. This can look like talking with a trusted friend, a therapist, a family member, or hey even a mindset coach. 😉

3. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially during difficult times. You can practice self-compassion by saying affirmations (get 50 affirmations here), practicing gratitude, and cultivating present-moment awareness through mindfulness practices such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises.

4. Set Boundaries: Establish healthy boundaries in your relationships and daily life. Learn to say no to commitments or situations that drain your energy or compromise your well-being.

5.  Acknowledge Your Feelings: Take time to acknowledge and validate your emotions, recognizing that they are a natural and valid part of your experience. You can write down your feelings or speak them to yourself out loud. 

6.  Express Yourself Creatively: Engage in creative activities that allow you to express your thoughts and emotions, such as writing, art, music, or dance. Creative expression can be such a powerful tool for processing feelings and finding meaning in your experiences.

7. Practice Mindfulness:  Try to cultivate present-moment awareness through mindfulness practices such as meditation, yoga, or mindful walking. Mindfulness can help you become more attuned to your thoughts and emotions, and develop greater self-awareness and acceptance.

8.  Learn Stress Management Techniques: Explore stress management techniques such as deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided imagery. These techniques can help you cope with stress and promote relaxation.

9. Work on healing and nurturing your inner child: Many times your inner child will have unmet needs.Anything you didn't receive as a child becomes an unmet need [and unexpressed emotions] in adulthood - these unmet needs affect your current behavior, thoughts, and beliefs. Many times your inner child within you holds onto shame, guilt, or unworthiness.As you heal your inner child you get to show up differently in your adult life and meet the needs that weren't met as a child. Don't know where to start? I have an Inner Child Healing Workbook that can help guide on this journey. You can check it out here! 

10. Focus on Growth and Learning: Embrace any challenges that come your way as opportunities for growth and learning. Approach setbacks with curiosity and openness, and view them as valuable lessons that can contribute to your personal development and resilience.

Remember that emotional and mental healing is a journey, it’s not linear, and it's okay to take small steps at your own pace. 

Even practicing one of the above just one time a week is progress! 

I encourage you to be patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate this process, and remember to always celebrate your progress along the way.

AND…

Are you wanting to take this healing work even further??

Introducing Emergence. 

Inside my signature course Emergence, you will learn the tools to handle stress, do the deep inner healing work, overcome limiting beliefs, and will have access to multiple breathwork sessions

Emergence will help you to prioritize your own self-care and help you to define your non-negotiables, your boundaries, and create your own self-care routine. 

But Emergence is so much more...

Emergence is going to give you a step-by-step guide to get unstuck, master your mindset, and create the abundant life you’ve been dreaming of. 

Inside you’ll learn … 

• To put yourself first so that you can show up better in all areas of life

• How to follow through on your goals and become more confident

• How to live a life that excites you and feels good

• How to say 'no' to things that don't excite you

• How to attract so much abundance into your life 

AND SO MUCH MORE... 

On Day 1 you will be given access to the first two modules to learn how to set yourself up for success during the program and start learning about your subconscious mind and the importance of rewiring the way your subconscious mind works. 

How could your life look different a year from now if you made the choice today to fully invest in yourself and your dreams? 

Emergence is for the woman who… 

• Has lost herself and is wanting to feel excited about life again 

• Is ready to create boundaries in her life and say no to the things that are draining her

• Is ready to step into the best version of herself and show up as the bada$$ that she knows she is

• Is feeling stuck and overwhelmed when it comes to getting started on making change

• Is ready to let go of the limiting beliefs that have been holding her back

Are you in? Join EMERGENCE here.